My First New Entry

I'm gonna blog and see if I can say something special.
Let's see, I love cheesecake, big breasts. I also like round butts.
I'm a fan of happiness. I like rainbows and think smurfs can't possibly be real. How ridiculous to think that such small creatures could possess the same mental capacity as humans. But then again, why am I being so narrow-minded. Maybe it's just an expression of my own insecurities. Maybe I'm a bit selfish. Perhaps, sub-consciously, I'm not willing to share my human experience with little blue men and women (mostly men, which is...a bit weird...You had Sassette and Smurfette otherwise). I guess I'll go, but I have to summarize this entry.
First and formally, fuck smurfs and their seemingly innocent thirst for life. Their philosophies bring with them the bandages of socialism. A little blue person, acting out the characteristics of his/her name is NEVER to be trusted. Believe you, me, this blue menace will bring eternal sorrow and damnation to us all. That being said, I urge everyone to be on board with the embargo that the nations of the world are prepared to impose on Smurf Village. I sleep easy at night knowing that my government is working closely with the wizard, Gargamel and that we are eager and committed to enacting our strategy on the ever growing forces of the Smurf movement. I urge all my fellow countrymen to stand together and say "NO" to all Smurf-made goods and services. We've been living under the tiny blue thumbs of our silent oppressors and now is not a time to show weakness. I'm not proposing direct violence on any Smurfs currently residing in or travelling through your community, but I would however, encourage less Smurf-berry consumption as we move to newly proposed alternatives.
While we don't understand the vast intricacies of Paw-Paw Bear foreign policy and trade, we are still open to various other tribes. The Gummi Bears and their rich gummi-berry juice deposits have also offered to openly trade...